Forgiveness on the Way to the Being
As we entered a new calendar year, I thought it would be useful to reflect a little on the topic of forgiveness and letting go, in order to not carry all the grudges and all the psychological trash that comes with it into this new year. Just like birthdays and some other important events of our life, the new year can also serve as a new starting point to strengthen our determination to do better spiritually in everyday life, by leaving behind that which is rotten or useless, by maintaining and increasing that which is spiritual and useful, whilst always looking ahead towards that which we still lack spiritually, though could have it if we persevere with the inner work. And one of such things which is rotten and should be discarded are the egos that keep count and refuse to forgive those who wronged us, harmed us, offended us, who didn’t say or do as we would like them to say or do, etc.
In daily life, people justify those psychological states that randomly come as thoughts and emotions in people’s body, overtaking them with the purpose of making them identify with them and thus to dwell in the past, over and over remembering the situations where we were wronged, and feeling anger towards those we antagonize, while all the time these egos massively steal our energy and making us sick. Not knowing any better, people dwell in such states, feeling self-justified, self-pity, and sometimes even start to think of themselves as martyrs, creating a false humility.
It is through the inner work, by increasing the consciousness and its virtues, by recognizing the beauty of divinity both within ourselves and also in the world around us, that we can slowly but surely let go of those egos that want to hold animosity and grudges indefinitely. We let them go by dying to them, sacrificing them so that the virtues of the essence trapped within them can be freed and become part of us, replacing the darkness of the egos. When light of the consciousness replaces the darkness of the egos, then we can truly forgive, from the heart. This is how forgiveness takes place. Everything else, every other form of forgiveness is temporary, superficial, or not real at all. How often can we hear someone say, I have forgiven this or that person, only to start speaking negatively about them soon after, even in the same conversation…
To forgive from the heart means to forgive unconditionally, regardless if that other person that wronged us has changed or not. This of course is not an easy thing to do, and even less so if we do not work on ourselves. Sometimes we may think that we have forgiven someone, we feel more at peace with what happened, which is because of the internal processing of the situations where we were wronged. This processing happens on both mechanical (physical) and unconscious (spiritual) levels, in order for us to be able to function in life; particularly are thus processed situations that caused trauma. The above-mentioned processing of such situations have placed them in certain departments of the subconscious and unconscious mind, which may cause us to think we have forgiven the people involved, but that is generally not the case. It only takes to be reminded of those instances, or to talk about them, for the egos associated with it to surge and cause unpleasant emotions and hate.
To forgive from the heart is not an easy thing, and it is not something that needs to be done in one day. Rather, we forgive gradually on a more and more profound levels as we dissolve the egos that want to continue to hate and create emotional pain; and as we are dissolving those particular egos and other egos, we increase the flow of love, we gain access to more love and more higher emotions than we normally have, and this then makes it natural to forgive; for how can we hold grudge indefinitely if we start to comprehend deeper the nature of ourselves and the situation and the people involved? It is this understanding, this ability to see, coupled with love, peace and happiness, that helps us to let go and forgive truly, from the heart, as the wounds are being healed and impressions from those situations processed with the inner work.
How wonderful it is to be able to forgive from the heart, to look back and see that the pain is gone, or is being reduced; how wonderful it is to see us being healed and able to let go of the past and of the people in it. This is what truly unties the karmic knots, the repetitions, and enable us to walk firmly ahead, having in sight that which await us as we progress on the Path.
HDP, January 2022.
I feel also genuine forgiveness (from the heart) happens when we take responsibility for our part in “creating” the drama for whatever spiritual reason ..And knowing ourselves – losing the egos – will allow us to see our part in it.
Thanks for sharing that insight, Sharon. It seems to me as well as such an important aspect of forgiveness, to try and see the causes too, and how is that related to our overall and/or specific inner nature. Definitely, self-knowledge plays one of the key roles in this process of forgiving and letting go from the heart.