Doubts and Fears About the Gnostic Work
Every direction or experience that has a life-changing scope would eventually bring about questioning whether this thing is good for me or not, and even more so when the unknown is such that, besides some concepts that we might have about it, we don’t really know much about those high spiritual states that we are working towards. Often time this is the case with many spiritual directions that people take, including the Gnostic teachings of Samael Aun Weor.
What I observed over the years is that people already enter the teachings with certain fear, precaution and doubt. These elements were often brought about from their overall precaution about spirituality, or their experience from other spiritual directions, in which many focus only on esoteric aspect and gaining powers, while the inner work is put on the back seat or is completely non-existent. This can make those who are involved in such spiritual directions create a belief system about reality, and in some cases the person could even become less grounded. The reason for this is because there is no solid basis in the inner work. Sadly then, such cases are put in front as the rule for all spiritual directions that go deeper into the nature of reality, and a lot of fear and caution surrounds them.
I remember when I was in the stage of my life when I was becoming more exposed to the Gnostic teachings. It was the time when I still haven’t started practicing them, but was in a kind of an intermediary stage between my old way of life, and the new spiritual one. This stage lasted for a couple of years, and during that time I had to overcome fear I had about the Gnostic work, that stemmed from reading fear mongering information about the teachings of Samael Aun Weor. As I was only around 20 years old at that time and without much experience in spiritual matters, the fear got to me, but I’ve ultimately managed to overcome it.
People experience doubts and fears about the Gnostic work in various stages of their spiritual journey. When we start out and do a research about the teachings, we find that they either resonate with us or do not. If they resonate with us, we will keep going and research more, and will eventually give it a try, despite the accounts of opposition to the teachings. Opposition to esoteric teachings has existed from time immemorial; in the West the opposition to the teachings would often time be a dominant religion, other spiritual schools, and various atheistic movements. Combining all of that with some scary stories that people post online about their experience of the teachings (in most cases presented in a very subjective way), one gets a recipe that would make almost every new student concern and in doubt. But if they continue going deeper into it in order to discover for themselves what the teachings are about, they would inevitably realize that the famous saying of Jesus “you shall know them by their fruits” is something that can be relied upon, because it provides with an experience that is direct and alive.
In later stages of the inner work, doubts and fears will inevitably reappear again. In many cases this happens when a person is serious about the inner work and is applying the techniques for spiritual awakening in a proper and consistent way. At that point of the work, even though it is still part of the Probative path, we reach the point where we have entered profoundly into a new state of consciousness, a new state of being that is much different to how we lived our lives before. Our egos, the subconscious, would react to this new change, bringing up fears, doubts and confusion that could make our inner work harder. It is at this point that we are faced with a choice – to continue on through the chaos of the egos and thus further into the unknown, or to stop applying the techniques for inner transformation. Sadly, it seems this is the point where majority of people fail and return to the comfort of their old form of living.
However, if we would go beyond the doubt and fear at that point, we would be stepping into the unknown, which may seem very uncertain; the egos would make it appear that this unknown future is bad for us or even harmful. Nevertheless, because we have reached the inner change by practicing the teachings seriously and consistently, we would know that the change was for the better, that we have already reached a minor transformation by becoming more conscious and compassionate person, and we would have faith that this could only take us further ahead in this direction. Then when we take this step and keep going, we break through into clarity once again; we come out stronger and wiser due to the hardship that we had to overcome and learn from.
Later on there are other doubts and fears about the work that come, for various situations that we experience. But the more we go into the work and the more direct experience that we have of it, the more we know what it really is and how is changing us. As our experiences increase, we become more centered in the work. When we are serious about the inner work, serious about reaching the inner Being, then the work becomes our center of gravity. At that point we become grounded in it, and even though the winds of life may blow and move us in one direction or another, our feet would be always at the same point on the ground.
When we start reaching experiences of the inner and outer realities, we may not be easily convinced that 1+1 = 4, even though such assertion may be wrapped around a smart sounding narrative, or coming from a religious or scientific authority. As the result of the inner work we get to have a higher level of comprehension and knowledge of reality, and we are less and less susceptible to being swayed by external “authorities” and by our own egos. Eventually, doubts and fears decrease greatly as egos diminish and as we progress on the path.
HDP, May 2020.